September and October are months that hit me pretty hard. Breast Cancer Awareness has been important to me since the day my cousin Mary was diagnosed with it back in 2006. I remember exactly where I was when I was told she was diagnosed with this horrible illness. I was surrounded by the children and the parents of the children whom I taught sign language to and I remember being slightly mad at my mom for telling me in front of all these people. I felt lost and confused and scared and I didn't know what to do. I know my mom told us with everyone around because she wanted them all to know so they could pray for her and for her family. Mary made it through and was in remission until 2008.
It was Tuesday, September 23, 2008 when I got the phone call from my mom to tell me it was time to come home to say my goodbyes. I was completely heartbroken and scared. Mary's cancer had come back a few months prior and it had spread to her lungs and her health went downhill quickly. Mary was brought home to the house with her family and hospice came in to make sure she was comfortable. Meghan and I drove home Thursday after we finished our externships. Friday afternoon, we headed over to Mary and Jeff's. Mary was lying so peacefully on a recliner and I remember sitting there for what seemed like hours holding her hand and telling her how much I love her. I was scared and lost and confused and all I could do was pray. I prayed for a miracle; I prayed for peace for her husband and her daughters, her mother and her brother; I prayed for God to ease the pain we as a family were about to endure.
The next morning, September 27, 2008, Mary took her final breaths in this life and entered into God's kingdom. But the days following Mary's death are all a blur to me now. We rushed to find suitable clothing to wear to the viewings and funeral and we made collages to commemorate Mary's life, all while we waited for God to ease our pain. As we gathered to remember Mary, pink ribbons adorned the clothing of every family member and friend, tears flowed as if they were waterfalls and we leaned on each other to get through one of the most difficult times we as a family had to undergo.
My relationship with Mary will never change. Mary was always a friend to me; She was always there to give me advice when I needed it; And she was always there to knock some sense into me during the times where I wasn't thinking so clearly. I still stop to see her as often as I can. There are times when I still talk to her as if she is here with me. There are times when I have so much I want to tell her and I wish she was here to listen to me.
As much as these months make me think about Mary and how much I miss my beloved cousin, it's not just these months that Mary is remembered. As this month of making strides toward curing breast cancer comes and goes, we must remember that it's not just the month of October that families are facing the the uncertainties of this illness. We must remember to "Share Beauty and Spread Hope" throughout every month of the year.
So thank you Lee Denim Day for giving me the opportunity to share the story of my family and to remember someone who will always be important and special to me.
In loving memory of Mary Virginia McAdams
9.8.55 - 9.27.08
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